As I tell it, the story goes like this: My wife, when she was just Girlfriend-Level IV, engineered her promotion to Fiance-First Class by getting "us" a dog. I'll tell it this way to my grave.
The Plan
It wasn't a present; it was more of a maneuver. Back in the day, my family went through something like 17 dogs before mercifully stopping when I was still quite young. I knew I'd get a dog again one day -- hopefully one that did not die suddenly, hang itself on its leash, impale itself on the fence, or get stolen, as so many predecessors had -- but I wasn't going to get one until I was ready and on my feet. At the time, I was working strange hours and holding down a house that was too big and too expensive for my ducats. Can't.Have.A-dog-yet, I said.
But she's such a romantic about dogs that she literally asked her parents for one at each birthday, even when she was away at college. We often quip -- and it's only half-joking -- that if she could give birth to dogs, the question of to have or not to have offspring would've been settled long ago. Yeah, that's the level we're talking about here.
Lo and behold, the right puppy litter is born to the right friend at the wrong time, and I cannot turn that romantic canine-loving face down. "Fine, it can live at my house. But you have to seriously help with care and training. I mean seriously."
I was leaving for work at 2 a.m. those days. Napping at weird hours. Playing hockey at others. My father was coming in for Christmas, with all his maladies and surprises. I needed the help.
The Attack
"Help" changed to staying overnight a lot, for this grad student/first-year teacher who was nominally living with her parents to save cash. It started to sound a lot like living together. Which made her Catholic parents, though liberal, a tad uncomfortable.
The practical-but-veiled message: "We could probably 'live together' with their full blessing if we were at least engaged."
Two months after the dog arrived, she had her ring.
We were engaged. Official cohabitants. And I was demoted to #3 in the household (minority whip?). An anthropologist looking back at things would say the marriage was a nice bonus, but the dog was the driving incentive here.
That's how I'll always tell it, anyway.
The Physics and the Fence: An innocent moment of dorkdom But truthfully, we were a nice match, and I knew it. I actually had the ring before the dog arrived, but I delayed because it's nice to "have hand." We built a fence outside for the dog in 38-degree cold, and we were told by the wise: "Wow, if you guys can build a fence together without killing each other, you guys are right for one another."
Well, there was one moment with the fence. Using a socket wrench with the ease of a power tool, she tightened one of the bolts ... and tightened and tightened and tightened until ~SNAP~ the bolt snapped under the torque and went flying across the yard. She expressed such shock at the result. "I was just tightening, like you said."
I'm by no means handy, but I like learning how things work. So recalling again my awesome physics class -- one of my favorites -- and knowing she never took physics, I tried explaining why the bolt snapped even when she felt no resistance. Levers and distance and work and such. Socket wrenches are like that -- they take away so much of the work, it's easy to lose track of how tight you've gotten something until it's shooting across the room, piecemeal.
And that's how the Story of the Fence became "I mean he sits there and tries to give me a PHYSICS LESSON and it's FREEZING outside and the fence is only HALFWAY UP!"
Honestly, I wasn't lecturing. I just had a fascination with physics that I -- at the time -- assumed others shared. I blame my brother, who always got me to see the intrigue in things, be they physics, history or flatulence. And having once been a boy who went through "the change" to discover the new strengths Nature affords a 6'2" male, I also was familiar with the sensation of using newfound strength or tools only to find the extra force can burn you, or at least crush what you're working on. I thought I understood the feeling.
Again: no lecture intended, just a cool little observation on the physical world, I thought. My last defense was a plea that physics really is interesting -- no really! -- and we should explore it together sometime. Being in love, she agreed. We could check out physics sometime. Later.
"I know you didn't ask for it," she said. "But you always pleaded about physics. I thought we could check it out together."
Awww. Now that's love. It's a good book, too. Well done. Most of the lessons I remember from way back when, but it's a nice refresher. Frankly, these concepts kick ass. They make my surroundings so much more understandable and fun to inhabit. Can't wait to discuss them with m'lady.
The other day I tried for the umpteenth time to point something out from the book to her, but it wasn't a good time.
A true Hall of Fame candidate among the admittedly limited number of blog entries I have consumed on the www!
Due to me dog allergy, my better half had to resort to her cat to establish the beachhead from which she has never retreated. And given that, through a series of strange events, I just had to spend 19 days in a 21 day period without the company of my wife of almost 14 years and suffered to an extent I never would have thought possible, I will always remember that cat with a fondness fully undeserved given its inherent personality and disposition.
By Lee H - 1/31/2008 7:34 AM
Heh heh, that's great. It seems a lot of cats are remembered with that sort of conditional fondness.
In retrospect, I probably should have named the dog Trojan Bunny.
By Dominik - 1/31/2008 9:47 AM
very, very nice article. loved it!
By no one you know - 2/11/2008 3:18 PM
my better-half also enjoys physics...
so when you are about to tell him how the drill-bit got into the waters of Kentucky, be sure to use physics to explain "how" the drill bit got into the waters of Kentucky. he'll enjoy that :-)
By no one you know - 2/11/2008 3:22 PM
I will gladly explain. Fumblestein's Law of Operator Incompetence is one of the most important tenets of physics, without which little understanding is possible.
As you may have noticed, the site has changed. Sampa, the free-site host, did a version 2 of some sort.
Despite an FAQ that made it sound like allowing one's site to go through v.2 surgery would be okay, there were several flexibilities that surprisingly disappeared with the click of a button. (e.g. I cannot believe sidebars like this one are even narrower than before.)
And I'm told -- miraculously! -- that the conversion cannot be undone. Truth be told, I'm actually quite pissed. But free is free. Sampa has otherwise been good to me.
So I need to sort through site "features" to see how I can make do. Except that I don't have the time at the moment, in the middle of graduate classes and Lighthousehockey.com. (btw, I've removed that Lighthouse RSS feed so that you're not clogged with random Islanders hockey gibberish).
But I promise to touch up the accessories when I get a chance, and return to irregularly scheduled blogging.
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Comments (5) for "True love"
February, 2008