The consolation for abandoning principles and joining the shady world of PR/marketing was getting constant laughter and constant peeks into how things really work.
The chance to see the exorbitant expense account the CEO uses on his way to telling investors that 3,000 layoffs will restore shareholder value. To understand why on Earth my local TV station heard about -- and decided to cover -- the Febreze Van's visit to a hockey locker room. To learn that a nonprofit's capital campaign only "launches" after 50-75% of the goal has already been reached through quiet private donors, thus assuring public success. To observe how much businessmen, politicians and lobbyists stroke each other in a watered-down version of the old Eastern Bloc game of How Things Get Done.
In a world where Fate has the last roll, it's fun to connect A to B when I can.
Parking: Through Rain, Snow, or Sleet ...
But sometimes it's a much more mundane peek, such as the political machinations and envy that determine who gets what office, or who gets to park in what garage, lol.
Take the Parking Control Supplies Buyer's Guide. I mean, sure, if you were arsed to think about it, you'd figure that such a thing exists. But why would your neurons bother? (Unless you're me, sitting in a doctor's waiting room wondering who supplied the product brochure calendars.)
We recently received this full-color brochure, in all of its 130 pages of parking-related glory. The hope is to influence our next parking tag design decision. Or maybe get us to buy some ticket books, some striping paint, or -- and this is extravagant -- some parking boots and directional signs. "As long as I'm placing an order, I suppose I could pick up a PARKING LOT FULL and a DO NOT ENTER ..."
It came to the wrong department, but I know someone, somewhere, is thinking long and hard about the next parking tag shape.
"Hmmm... do I go with straight-up NO DUMPING, or do I get specific with DUMPSTER FOR TENANTS USE [sic] ONLY. Or is FOR RESIDENTS USE [sic] ONLY more on the mark?"
And don't forget ADA-compliant handicap signs, which vary by state. (Don't buy a Minnesota handicapper if you plan to display it in Florida.) There are no PARKING FOR ITALIANS ONLY signs, but there are ones for CLERGY or PASTOR or VP (naturally).
My favorite product, though, is the customizable stop sign. An otherwise standard red octagonal STOP sign, there is space underneath "STOP" for [YOUR WORDING HERE].
1) Is that allowed?! 2) What for?!
So of course I want to replace the street sign outside our house with FALL OF BECAUSE PL., and I'd like to change the stop sign underneath it to:
oh oh, the dumpster signs remind me of a (probably apocryphal) story told me by our Corporate Controller. He was attending a funeral in some little Missouri bootheel town, and stopped for gas a a quick shop next to a trailer park. He SWEARS there was a sign on the dumpsters between: TRAILER TRASH ONLY. And of course his reaction was, "Who else would be using these dumpsters?"
Do you remember The Excellent Sara's focus on parking as the major perk of her employment?
As you may have noticed, the site has changed. Sampa, the free-site host, did a version 2 of some sort.
Despite an FAQ that made it sound like allowing one's site to go through v.2 surgery would be okay, there were several flexibilities that surprisingly disappeared with the click of a button. (e.g. I cannot believe sidebars like this one are even narrower than before.)
And I'm told -- miraculously! -- that the conversion cannot be undone. Truth be told, I'm actually quite pissed. But free is free. Sampa has otherwise been good to me.
So I need to sort through site "features" to see how I can make do. Except that I don't have the time at the moment, in the middle of graduate classes and Lighthousehockey.com. (btw, I've removed that Lighthouse RSS feed so that you're not clogged with random Islanders hockey gibberish).
But I promise to touch up the accessories when I get a chance, and return to irregularly scheduled blogging.
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without a single comment from the actual doctors in question. (And later, to see how the slightly more accurate 
Comments (1) for "The Parking Supply Annual"
February, 2008