Yet K-Feld still demoted to Mexico; Separatist Spenard called up
'Pointmen' finally get service -- and squander all chances
Final Rams - 1 Thunder - 4 Attendance: 1 (K-Feld's presumed escort to Mexico)
First off, for those wanting to read about our last 'lose' (to quote Mike K.'s special pre-game grammar, and to answer his question), there is indeed a quasi-recap of the shameful two-game losing streak in North County. But it was compiled under duress, after travels, amid a sinus infections and...well, who knows what it reports.
As for last night's game, there are much happier tales to relay, as the insults praise flows so much more easily after a win. Didn't hurt to have a verbal kick in the butt from DL'd Adam, either, as he bides his rehab time until the playoffs.
But last night probably began with Decoy Jansky. He was flying up and down the rink all night like a Hoagland The Greater, once storming back as the first man back (but more on the defensemen sub-species later) to break up a rush. His rink-length sprint with the puck (fed by his little bro', thank you) netted our first goal.
In a bizarre role reversal that still has me reeling in an identity crisis, Yours Truly played the role of "decoy" on this rush while the Other White Meat Jansky took the glory. My whole worldview has been rocked. Maybe I wasn't Mom's favorite son after all...? So much to reconsider... Now that I think about it, I have always been fascinated with the law..."oh all areas: personal privacy, noise statutes."
Personal crisis aside, Decoy, Garrett and their now-self-doubting center created a nice offensive buzz all night that was equaled by all the forward lines: it was cool to see three lines clicking in unison, applying pressure, backchecking, milking the chemistry with each other, cyclinging with the defense to create constant pressure. All units working hard. The only complaint (which Mike K. attempted to capture in a expletive-laden post-game monologue) was the lighter effort in the 2nd period and our occasional passive forechecking -- something we can get away with against some teams but definitely cannot against our rivals.
Anyway, Hoagland The Greater stuck to the Rams' top gun like a clingy woman -- never allowing him any space or time to play with the other guys. His energy also created some juicy scoring chances for Hoagland the Lesser and Carlton (including one play that led Carlton to be the recipient of unpenalized defensive thuggery). Lee particularly had some shots that had me in disbelief that he didn't score, to which his brother retorted: "Really? You really can't believe Lee didn't score?" Ah, brothers.
Mouser, meanwhile, awoke from his pre-game stupor for this early 10:45 start to regain his "HUSTLE!" vocal chords and fish pucks out of the corners for Copeland and Mike K. to throw at the net all night long. Mouser said something about being worn down by work, a fussy child, and compensating for the extra house stuff required by a six-stitch cut to his wife's hand [Momentarily serious interlude: No worries, her hand is OK]. By the way, Mouser, we ran the numbers with Accounting and you're right, a mere six stitches isn't worth it: you'd have been better off sewing her up yourself or just "letting it heal" as you suggested. She's only the woman who BORE YOUR CHILDREN, so...Wait, does she read these recaps?...Oh dear...
Now that Mouser's in trouble, back to the offense: Mike and Cope' were buzzing the net all night, and sometimes they even noticed Mouser was out there, too. Mouser set Mike up on a two-on-one in which Mike stretched and a-l-most put it in...but his goal came after a startling display of life by Stenson. Having taken consecutive slashes on the toe and arm (or so he claims), Stenson began a slow turn on the boards that stirred reminders of a cargo ship pulling a U-turn in the Panama Canal. The turn completed, Stenson spotted Mike K.'s vigorous SOS wave and delivered the puck cross-ice to Mike, who settled it and buried it past the very good Ram goalkeeper.
Defensemen: Blight of Mankind? Discuss... Speaking of defensemen ("I spit in your general di-rection"), there's always chit-chat among them about so-called "point men" being open and what-not. Supposedly, they could be a strategic part of the offense. Mostly I think they're just trying to avoid the humiliation of "pulling a Walker." But whatever, apparently some activist judges have declared that defensemen are people, too -- even though that is nowhere in the Fathers' Constitution -- and they like to have the puck at least three-fifths as much as forwards do.
Well, on this night, all four of them had golden chances in front of the net -- not even all the way back at the ironically named "points," mind you, but in the heart of the slot, where forwards properly reside -- And the result of these incursions?
Stenson's eyes lit up as he whiffed (But did not fall! applause);
East Side Rob was "robbed" (ha, pun...get it? We're here all week) from point-blank range;
Wiggins spun and half-whiffed once, made a good-but-Quixotic deke on another
Walker (who, nonetheless, some how bribed his way into an assist or two) completed two Iwo Jima Patrol circuits of the zone, preceding each trip with the patented loping wrist shot.
Cumulative tally from these defensive forays? Zero goals.
Now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman, but I do believe this permanently closes the book on allowing a defenseman to handle the puck ever again. (Possible exception being when Hoagland The Greater or Mouser dress up as defensemen...they're already in the cool club). Much like Czech and Slovak independence, it was a cute experiment. We tried it for a game. It failed. Let's move them back to forced servitude.
On the defensive side, though, the slaves -- er, defensemen -- played like their masters ordered: From Walker coming off the bench to strip a man of a breakaway, to Thomas taking a wise and well-executed penalty to stop another, to East Side Rob throwing his usual "sloppy" self around, and Stenson sticking his butt into the prevailing winds, they did well. Their game report glowingly reads: "Met Expectations" -- the highest of praise for their species.
Nonetheless, K-Feld still had to face two breakaways. He stuffed both of them, sure, but it wasn't enough to save his job. We're demoting him to Mexico for the next game. Nothing personal kid, we just want to go in a different direction, give this Spenard kid a look. Apparently he's been stellar at Riendeau Fantasy Camp. The Hoaglands will also be off scouting for new keepers in Colorado, where I hear the snow-bunny prospects are in bloom. But that's two weeks away. Until then, get your exercise in, boys.
Next Game: Monday, March 19, 10:30p at Webster vs Stingers (we are away/black)
Comments (2) for "Thunder Rebound from Last 'L...
I thought I might make a better "decoy" if I actually put one in the net on occasion, so there is my one goal for the season. I've also noticed that breaks to the net are a lot more fun when you bring the puck with you and that backchecking is easy when you are out of position to begin with. We wont get an easy game like that again this season. Mike K's post game comments with his D- minus in sensitivity training is a good reminder of what we have coming next. We had better ramp it up or we'll get nailed like a deer at the Kurtzborn backyard salt lick.
By Martin "Decoy" Jansky, the other white meat - 3/9/2007 4:20 AM
Don't worry--Mouser was already in trouble for telling me that we needed to stop on the way home from urgent care to get rubber gloves so I could finish the dishes--don't think for a minute that he edits what he says just because I will hear it. I think he likes being in trouble..
As you may have noticed, the site has changed. Sampa, the free-site host, did a version 2 of some sort.
Despite an FAQ that made it sound like allowing one's site to go through v.2 surgery would be okay, there were several flexibilities that surprisingly disappeared with the click of a button. (e.g. I cannot believe sidebars like this one are even narrower than before.)
And I'm told -- miraculously! -- that the conversion cannot be undone. Truth be told, I'm actually quite pissed. But free is free. Sampa has otherwise been good to me.
So I need to sort through site "features" to see how I can make do. Except that I don't have the time at the moment, in the middle of graduate classes and Lighthousehockey.com. (btw, I've removed that Lighthouse RSS feed so that you're not clogged with random Islanders hockey gibberish).
But I promise to touch up the accessories when I get a chance, and return to irregularly scheduled blogging.
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Comments (2) for "Thunder Rebound from Last 'L...