Winning streak ends with stench of navel lint, Thunderers cry 'me-ow'
Final Thunder - 3 Wildcats - 6 Attendance: nearly 10 on a cold, late, Sunday night
As my farmboy college roommate would say, putting a happy face on last night's game would be "like putting lipstick on a pig." I assumed he should know, since he grew up on a pig farm and was adjusted to the smells of pig shit and the sight of pig castration. He also colorfully describes the human body's post-White Castle digestive state with, "Boy, I could shit through a screen door." He was a good roommate.
Oh yeah, the game though. Well...let's look at The Bright Side: ...[n/a]
And now The Dark Side: [file exceeds storage capacity]
No, now, seriously, on the bright side, last night ended a nice four-game win streak that broke us out of our .500 start. All hail the win streak. And we're still tied for a three-way share of first place. And we are all still, after all, playing hockey. And surely one of us has either stayed at a Holiday Inn Express or saved money on car insurance. In fact, check your mail: one of us may have just won a million dollars through the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
Hey now: We were tied at 2-2 going into the third period last night, and the game was still ours for the taking, But... We didn't take it.
Hey now: We drew enough power plays to ice the game by a mile. But... Our power play was consistently pedestrian.
Hey though: K-Feld was awesome, including one beautiful toe save that will be etched in my memory until I see another photo of that girl from "Charmed" Mouser's always telling us about. But... We abandoned him for two gift-wrapped breakaways to opposing players who had the skills to finish them.
At least: That was our only loss in all of January! But... We only played three games this month.
Well: At least skating last night helped me finally hack out a lung in the shower this morning. But... I played like I only had one lung and one cranial hemisphere; I even took the night's anti-Lady Byng with a mysterious-but-typical penalty for jumping into a goalmouth fracas.
A Lesser Man Speaking of the sniffles, Martin el Decoy, upon hearing of our loss, expressed the obligatory sorrow for a moment before putting down his pipe and remarking that he must be a necessary ingredient to any Thunder victory. Nevermind that his replacements on my line, Carlton and Hoagland The Greater, each had as many points in half a game as he gets in sixfold the time. He assured me it's all about the W, and the W was not achieved with him out mending him wittle sniffles and sniffles.
The Highlights Still, it's worth noting Carlton's crash-the-net finishing for a goal off of Garrett's screen shot. And The Greater's burst down the right wing set up Garrett's third-period goal that drew us (however briefly) back within one in the crazy third period. Garrett also had a hand with Jim in setting me up with an easy tap-in in the first, when things were not yet going poorly.
Stenson, too, had some nice tutanka rushes with the puck and treated us all to the first Stenson somersault ever observed outside of captivity.
Errata I could go on about the game (--or could I?--), but I've run out of lipstick, so I'll move on to other happy things.
Juan, a known Peruvian and roller hockey buddy who was drafted by the Wildcats this season, forgot his girly Wildcat colors and so wore Walker's A-B jersey, which naturally mitigated him on the ice. Off the ice, Juan was ready in the parking lot, freezing temperatures and all, with a kangaroo pouch filled with cans of Busch. He generously used his belly to keep the beers from freezing. Even if his alleged upbringing in the Andes prepared him for harsh elements, he is hereby commended for his efforts in the face of adversity -- as well as for not scoring on us or rubbing his Wildcatliness in our face. Fortunately, 'I Was Once a Goal-Scorer' Matt (a fellow roller traitor) also dutifully kept himself off the scoresheet.
Super Bowl And speaking of Juan and Walker, Walker will be hosting a Super Bowl party at his house (aka "Walker Retirement Center") for Thunderers, friends, and other hangers-on such as Juan. All should have gotten the eVite from Stenson, who will be smoking the meat -- and no, that's not metaphor or innuendo, he's just smoking the meat. If you want to see a Busch-guzzling Peruvian, or Stenson in a swimsuit fingering pig remnants, be there. (If you want to watch the game, I guess you should be there, too). If you need help deciphering the invitation, contact Stenson.
Now shake that game off...
Next Game Tue., Feb. 6, 10:00p at the Ice Zone/Mills Industrial Consumer Complex vs. division-rival Stingers We are home/white.
Comments (1) for "Lipstick on a Pig"
Being the "play-maker" and team contributor that I am, I never look at stats, no matter how they are folded. It is not the individual player, its the team that matters...especially if the individual player sucks, being is devoid of talent and skating ability, only good for scaring the defense on occasion. Sorry for the loss. Even more sorry that I didnt see the Stensonsault.
By Martin "Decoy" Jansky, the other white meat - 1/30/2007 4:12 AM
As you may have noticed, the site has changed. Sampa, the free-site host, did a version 2 of some sort.
Despite an FAQ that made it sound like allowing one's site to go through v.2 surgery would be okay, there were several flexibilities that surprisingly disappeared with the click of a button. (e.g. I cannot believe sidebars like this one are even narrower than before.)
And I'm told -- miraculously! -- that the conversion cannot be undone. Truth be told, I'm actually quite pissed. But free is free. Sampa has otherwise been good to me.
So I need to sort through site "features" to see how I can make do. Except that I don't have the time at the moment, in the middle of graduate classes and Lighthousehockey.com. (btw, I've removed that Lighthouse RSS feed so that you're not clogged with random Islanders hockey gibberish).
But I promise to touch up the accessories when I get a chance, and return to irregularly scheduled blogging.
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Comments (1) for "Lipstick on a Pig"